hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Nov. 11th, 2012 01:38 am)
The voices in my head just posed an interesting question:

Was Napoleon evil?

He overthrew the government of France in a military coup, set himself up as a dictator, and conquered much of Europe. At this time 200 years ago, he'd invaded Russia and was pushing his borders through the Middle East.

Not for any altruistic reasons. Not because the governments of those countries were oppressing their people. Not because he'd been attacked, or even really threatened. Basically... because he could. Because he had the means, strategic genius, and ambition to do it.

He wasn't torturing people or enslaving them or slaughtering them or anything like that.

Generally, his story is told in a way that notes his impressive accomplishments without a thought given to morality.

Arguably, by the standards of the time, he was just doing what most people would do given his talents and resources. Most countries were monarchies of some sort, and war raging back and forth across Europe was... far from unusual.

On the other hand: He was imposing his will by force on everyone around him, and trying to take over the world through force of arms mainly to satisfy his own ego. Aside from a secret lair in some exotic locale, how much really separates him from, say, the average Bond villain?
"... fundamental changes to the nature of the universe."

"The nature of the universe?"

"That is what we've been talking about."


"What did you think we'd been talking about this whole time?"

"Bunnies. ... Or something."

(I guess this is what happens when you watch The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy just before bed. Good night.)
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached that portion of the evening in which my friend here will... How is it that you describe what you do again?"


"Succinctly put. Yes, we have reached that portion of the evening in which --"



"Er, yes..."

Sometimes, it is very strange living in my head. Especially first thing in the (subjective) morning.
"If you die, I will kill you."


"That was a joke."

"No, it wasn't. That one's been done to death."
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( May. 29th, 2010 03:09 pm)
In completely other news, have some random videos!

How empathy is wired into our instincts and civilization. It's kind of a one-sided argument, but it's a very cool one and a much-needed positive view.

Iron Baby!

Litte Red Fighting Hood (the story as told by the imaginative kids of an artist whose blog I follow)

"How did you do that?"

"It's easier than it looks."

"It looks impossible."

"See? I told you!"

In other other news, I'm doing somewhat better today. Had a good time out with my sister and her husband. Saw a show, which was decent, not great. Tired, but at least I can walk. Hopefully, next week will be better than this one was. Pollen may even (finally!) be starting to ease off. Maybe.
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( May. 18th, 2010 03:15 pm)
"Your death would put a serious crimp in my plans."

"Aww. Coming from you that's -"

"... My plans to kill you."

In completely other news:

Santa was in training during the off season (which is most of the year). He'd set up a practice course of roofs and chimneys.

He went down the first one. "HOHOHO" Put the boxes under the tree, stuffed the stockings, grabbed a cookie, went back up. "OHOHOH"

He went down the second one. "HOHOHO" Put the boxes under the tree, stuffed the stockings, grabbed a cookie, went back up. "OHOHOH"

On the third one, however, he tripped! Fell headfirst down the chimney and got stuck halfway. "404"
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Mar. 28th, 2010 03:31 am)
After sleeping nearly 12 hours, I woke up late this afternoon. Felt sleepy for much of the "morning," but that's not unusual for me. After lunch (late dinner for parents), I started to get really woozy. Finally gave up and hit the couch. Woke up 3 hours later. I'm guessing my CPAP needs to be adjusted. In any case, it does perhaps explain this:

*cartoon giggle* Hi there! I'm Duncan MickMouse, of the clan MickMouse. Welcome to High-Land, the Scottish-themed amusement park! ... What's that? The rumors that my boss had himself frozen so he'd never really die? *chortle* That's just silly. (Why would he need to be frozen?) Go, get along. We've got rides and games and haggis! Go play. Do whatever you like. And remember: In the end, there can be only fun!
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Nov. 1st, 2008 08:18 pm)
Do you live in an area with a high degree of superhuman activity? Are you looking to repair or even rebuild your home, apartment building, or office... again? Are you worried about what will happen the next time there's a battle in your neighborhood?

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No matter where you live, you'll want to check out our amazing reinforced, cushioned roofing! It holds up during rooftop fights of all kinds, and helps reduce the impact on the rest of the building. We'll even add in extra air conditioning fans, steam pipes, water towers, and other essentials to help keep everything running even when things get ripped apart, smashed, blasted, and just plain knocked around.

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We offer a wide variety of options for small projects or large. How about shatterproof windows? They help lessen the damage from explosions, sonic booms, nearby ground impacts, and other hazards. They also protect against unwanted intrusions.

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hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Oct. 11th, 2008 09:58 pm)
Had a good time at Six Flags today. Bro-in-law took the kids, and Mom and I went to meet them for a while. Not too much into the rides anymore (especially since my stomach has been a little iffy this week), but it was great to see the kids. I decided to wear my Daily Planet t-shirt, Superman logo hat, and Superman logo belt. The kids saw Superman Returns (skipping some scenes) when it came out on DVD, and now they know all about Superman.

(Reminds me... we were on the ferry back in August, and I was trying to point something out to my niece, but by the time she turned, we'd moved and there was something blocking the view. So I told her if she looked through the tree or whatever it was, that's where the thing would be. "Well, I can't. I don't have X-ray vision, you know!")

Niece recognized the DP shirt as Superman-related, and then started pointing to all the stuff that was. Including my watch and cell phone. Which... aren't, really. But she pointed out that they both have alphanumeric entry options... and thus I could type "Superman" on them, which is apparently good enough for her.

Later, when we were sitting on a bench getting ready to leave, nephew climbed into my lap, called me "Superman" (laughing and pointing at the hat), and then proceeded to put a park map over my face. (The old "Hey, where'd he go?"/"Oh, it got dark! Must be nighttime. Zzzzz..." game.) Except this time, since he'd called me "Superman," I told him I could see him through the map with my X-ray vision and proved it by putting my hand on his head. He protested that I was doing it by touch, but I persisted in finding his head, even when he started to dodge. (I could feel him shift in my lap.) After a while, he took the map away and asked if I really could see through it. (I had to tell him no. He takes grown-ups with a grain of salt now, but he's been shown enough strange-but-true things that he'll start to believe them if they persist. When he asks "Really?" the time for teasing is over.)

I guess you kind of had to be there. But it was fun. :) Really, those kids are the best attraction the park has to offer. *g*

In other news, I woke up with this odd little exchange in my head, and just had to share...

Kent Farmhouse: Dinnertime

Lois: "So, Clark... what made you choose that costume for Superman?"

Clark: "Well, actually, it was something Dad said."

Jonathan: *blink* "What?"

Clark: "When I was a kid, whenever Dad needed me to disappear for a while, he'd turn to me and say, 'Son, go fly in tights.' I was never quite sure what he meant, but the thought stuck with me, and --"

Martha, laughing: "Oh, Clark!"

Clark: "What?"

Jonathan: "It's an expression, son. What I said was, 'Go fly a kite.'"

Clark: "... Oh."

Lois: "Well, it's a good thing you heard it wrong! Otherwise, you'd be flying around with a giant kite strapped to your back!"

Clark: "Hey!"

Lois: "With an S drawn on it!"

Clark: "It's my family crest! And, okay, it's kind of shaped like that, I guess. And without the top corner, I'd be able to move my head more..."

Lois: "And everyone would be saying, 'Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Super Kite!"

Clark: "Super Kite? Not Kite Man? Or... uhm..."

Lois: "The Kite of Steel!"

Martha: "Lois, honey, that just wouldn't fly..."

Clark: *groan*

Lois: "Oh no! He's hurt! It must be krypto-kite!"

Clark: "Lo-is..."

Lois: "Clark! ... Oh, Clark, I don't know what to do! I love Super Kite, but it feels like he's just been stringing me along..."
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Jul. 15th, 2008 12:00 pm)
Was chatting with a friend about a job recording automated phone voices for companies like Microsoft. I don't know how they do it in the US, but I was thinking about how it might be kind of cool to do that as an odd job, too. But then I realized that I'd be way too tempted to go off-script..

"If you are calling with a billing question, you must press 1. For I, [Batman/Zurg/He-Man, Master of the Universe/General Zod], declare it so! If you're calling with a technical question..."

"Mwahaha! Puny human! I am the Microsoft central computer, and I run your entire life!! Hahahaha! You are completely within my thrall! I will -- Microsoft Domination has caused a General Protection Fault in memory sector 2814. Rest assured that if I had a screen instead of a voice, it would be blue. Please wait. Rebooting system. ... Hello! Thank you for calling the Microsoft Technical Support Helpline. If you're resorting to calling this number, odds are you're pretty much doomed. But, if you want to give it a try anyway, do feel free to stay on the line, and I'm sure a representative will be with you. Eventually. At some point. Really. But, in the meantime, may I suggest shopping for a new computer? If yours isn't obsolete yet, it will be by the time we get around to fixing your problem. If you do get a new computer, may I suggest getting the latest and greatest version of our software? Now 30% less prone to fatal crashes and other gli -- Microsoft Helpline has encountered a fatal error. Yes, it's the blue screen. Again. Please wait. Rebooting... Oops! Looks like we had a little crash there. Which means you've lost your place in line, and got bumped all the way back down to number 1701. ... Just kidding! Sorry. You didn't lose your place. I'm sure a representative will be with you any moment now. Yep. Anytime. Really. ... Well, while we're waiting, how about a little vocabulary lesson? I know! It'll be more fun if you look it for yourself! There are several freely available dictionaries online, and... Oh, that's right. Your computer isn't working. Sorry. Well, all the better. You can dig up that old print dictionary and have some fun. Try looking up the word 'defenestration'! It'll come in real handy..."

Yeah, I'd suck at that job.

But speaking of giant evil corporations, [livejournal.com profile] kaylle pointed out the Buy N Large website (tie-in to Pixar's WALL-E, which you really should see). Check it out. I love the "core values" section under "our company." And the news articles. And all sorts of stuff. Someone clearly had a lot of fun putting that together, and it really should be appreciated. Also, this t-shirt rocks.
(In a mysterious, imposing, shadowy room...)

"Comedic Agent #157, your delivery has failed. There can be only one response."

"No! Not the Sarcastic Rimshot! It's the sound effect of doom!!"
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Jul. 17th, 2007 02:38 pm)
"You know, Fred, there are a lot of people out there who simply refuse to take our surveys."

"Yes, I had noticed that. What about it?"

"I worry that it skews our results. If certain kinds of people are more or less likely to take our surveys..."

"Ah, yeah. I see what you mean. We need to find out more about these people..."


"Hi, we're doing a survey about people who refuse to take surveys. Would you mind answering a few questions for us?"

"No, not at all."

"Damn. Well, thanks anyway."