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Sometimes I worry about the voices in my head.
I mean, some of them are fun. Timmy (I miss him...) is cool. The ones that come up with random song parodies for various occasions can be entertaining, even if I do tend to get the bits of song stuck in my head. Then there are the ones that come up at specific (though odd) times. Like the Minesweeper crew.
Every time I start a game of Minesweeper, I hear them. They work in a small military dispatch office, known as Minesweeper Central. It's just a drab little grey room with a few computer terminals and some communications equipment and stuff. I start the game, and a field soldier radios in:
"Minesweeper Central."
"Uhm... we've come across a mine field. ... We could use some help."
[Dry tone] "That's what we're here for, sir."
"Uh, yeah. Thanks..."
"Don't worry, sir. I'll get my best guy on it." [Repressed chuckle in the background]
"Your best guy? Really? Wow..."
[Gallows humor] "Well, he hasn't made a mistake yet, sir."
So, there's that. Those voices aren't too bad. Nice to have, sometimes.
But then there's The Fortress. It's been in the back of my head for the last 15 years or so, and I've never been able to get rid of it. When I'm alone with nothing in particular to distract me (in the shower, doing the dishes, whatever), it comes to mind, all unbidden.
It's a complex with a militaristic structure. Originally intended as a research station to learn about magical energies, it was built around a central power node which turned out to be sacred to a nearby clan of ninjas.
Things kind of grew from there. There's a long and complicated history and a lot more I could mention. I tried to get rid of it years ago by bringing matters to a head. All the enemy ninja clans banded together, and were defeated in an epic battle that took place over the course of 3 days. The base commander did all the fighting personally, so although he was helped in the background by a frantically working staff, the ninjas got the impression that the base was holding back. Seeing the futility of their efforts, they surrendered.
And that's when it became clear that the central power node was even more special than it had originally been believed. Its existance transcends time, space, and even the multiverse, and the base commander, tied so closely to it, found himself being flung through time and across universes on a regular basis. It's gotten to the point now that he just gave up trying to keep track of things, and set MAISIE ("Mainframe AI Systems Interface Experiment" - an AI overlay that runs the base computer systems, in the guise of a beloved, somewhat flirty, Moneypenny-esque secretary) in charge of everything, since "she," at least, is capable of consistent leadership. (As opposed to the base commander, who could unwillingly and unwittingly switch places with a version of himself from another time and/or universe at just about any time.)
There's more, of course. It's been around for a long time, even though I've never understood why or what to do with it. It's not even very good storytelling material. MAISIE is about the only named character. The commander, something of a Gary Stu, is pretty much always referred to as "Sir." The plots are thin. Situations will pop up, and the interesting part is figuring out the context and the resolution. Diverting, perhaps, in the doing, but boring, stupid, and confusing in the telling. Badfic. Really.
There are a bunch of different kinds of magical power used. "Super ninja powers" are popular among the more experienced and higher-ranking members of the Fortress's crew, and have become the default power measurement scale. The term is frequently part of the opening lines that I hear in my head. Everyone else - myself included - thinks they're pretty stupid.
Anyway, got a little random snippet while I was getting dinner together tonight.
"... and now I will activate my super ninja powers!"
"Oh, come on, sir. Your 'ninja powers' couldn't get us out of a trap set by a week-old salmon."
"... What?"
"Uhm... it's an expression... sir."
As far as I can tell, this was on some kind of field mission, led by someone of middling rank, but really... I don't want to know.
It's just... like I said back in the beginning... sometimes I worry...
I mean, some of them are fun. Timmy (I miss him...) is cool. The ones that come up with random song parodies for various occasions can be entertaining, even if I do tend to get the bits of song stuck in my head. Then there are the ones that come up at specific (though odd) times. Like the Minesweeper crew.
Every time I start a game of Minesweeper, I hear them. They work in a small military dispatch office, known as Minesweeper Central. It's just a drab little grey room with a few computer terminals and some communications equipment and stuff. I start the game, and a field soldier radios in:
"Minesweeper Central."
"Uhm... we've come across a mine field. ... We could use some help."
[Dry tone] "That's what we're here for, sir."
"Uh, yeah. Thanks..."
"Don't worry, sir. I'll get my best guy on it." [Repressed chuckle in the background]
"Your best guy? Really? Wow..."
[Gallows humor] "Well, he hasn't made a mistake yet, sir."
So, there's that. Those voices aren't too bad. Nice to have, sometimes.
But then there's The Fortress. It's been in the back of my head for the last 15 years or so, and I've never been able to get rid of it. When I'm alone with nothing in particular to distract me (in the shower, doing the dishes, whatever), it comes to mind, all unbidden.
It's a complex with a militaristic structure. Originally intended as a research station to learn about magical energies, it was built around a central power node which turned out to be sacred to a nearby clan of ninjas.
Things kind of grew from there. There's a long and complicated history and a lot more I could mention. I tried to get rid of it years ago by bringing matters to a head. All the enemy ninja clans banded together, and were defeated in an epic battle that took place over the course of 3 days. The base commander did all the fighting personally, so although he was helped in the background by a frantically working staff, the ninjas got the impression that the base was holding back. Seeing the futility of their efforts, they surrendered.
And that's when it became clear that the central power node was even more special than it had originally been believed. Its existance transcends time, space, and even the multiverse, and the base commander, tied so closely to it, found himself being flung through time and across universes on a regular basis. It's gotten to the point now that he just gave up trying to keep track of things, and set MAISIE ("Mainframe AI Systems Interface Experiment" - an AI overlay that runs the base computer systems, in the guise of a beloved, somewhat flirty, Moneypenny-esque secretary) in charge of everything, since "she," at least, is capable of consistent leadership. (As opposed to the base commander, who could unwillingly and unwittingly switch places with a version of himself from another time and/or universe at just about any time.)
There's more, of course. It's been around for a long time, even though I've never understood why or what to do with it. It's not even very good storytelling material. MAISIE is about the only named character. The commander, something of a Gary Stu, is pretty much always referred to as "Sir." The plots are thin. Situations will pop up, and the interesting part is figuring out the context and the resolution. Diverting, perhaps, in the doing, but boring, stupid, and confusing in the telling. Badfic. Really.
There are a bunch of different kinds of magical power used. "Super ninja powers" are popular among the more experienced and higher-ranking members of the Fortress's crew, and have become the default power measurement scale. The term is frequently part of the opening lines that I hear in my head. Everyone else - myself included - thinks they're pretty stupid.
Anyway, got a little random snippet while I was getting dinner together tonight.
"... and now I will activate my super ninja powers!"
"Oh, come on, sir. Your 'ninja powers' couldn't get us out of a trap set by a week-old salmon."
"... What?"
"Uhm... it's an expression... sir."
As far as I can tell, this was on some kind of field mission, led by someone of middling rank, but really... I don't want to know.
It's just... like I said back in the beginning... sometimes I worry...
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