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Please brainstorm with me.
Here's the story so far. It's a few pages long, which I realize is considered a wall of text when you're reading on a screen. (In any other context that would be fairly short. Weird how our perceptions work.) Skim it or whatever you need. But context matters. If you're going to help, you should know where I'm coming from, what I've been through, what I've tried, etc.
The short version is that I've got chronic illness, I'm over the hill, and I'm stuck trying to figure out what to do with myself to make a meaningful life.
The following lists will probably be updated as more things come to mind, but here's the overview:
Anyone can comment. I'll respond as I can, if I have something to say. You do not have to have an account or log in to comment, but if you comment anonymously I would appreciate it if you would tell me who you are. If you're not comfortable doing that, I understand.
You can also sign in using OpenID. You should be able to use your WordPress, Blogspot, AOL, Yahoo, LiveJournal, or other participating account to sign in here. You just need your provider's OpenID URL and to be logged in at that provider. For more information, you can try OpenID Explained or the Wikipedia article. (Yeah, I know. You probably haven't used any of those services in years. But the option is there if you want.)
Alternatively, you can message me on Discord (WearsHats) or Twitter (@hataroni) or email me (hatman at dreamwidth dot org). I'd prefer to keep everything here in one place, especially since it allows people to review what others have said and bounce ideas around. But if public comments don't work for you, I'll take them where I can.
You may share this post if you think doing so would bring in helpful responses.
What's been going on:
Here's the story so far. It's a few pages long, which I realize is considered a wall of text when you're reading on a screen. (In any other context that would be fairly short. Weird how our perceptions work.) Skim it or whatever you need. But context matters. If you're going to help, you should know where I'm coming from, what I've been through, what I've tried, etc.
The short version is that I've got chronic illness, I'm over the hill, and I'm stuck trying to figure out what to do with myself to make a meaningful life.
The following lists will probably be updated as more things come to mind, but here's the overview:
What I'm trying to do:
- Find a way to be productive.
- Find a way to make a positive difference in the world. Better, happier, fairer.
- See if I can start a business that can at least help support me so I'm not reliant on my family's generosity for the rest of my life.
What I've Got Going For Me:
- I can listen to people, sympathize with them, and try to be supportive. I have patience and a willingness to try to see different points of view.
- I have enough money available to maybe start a small business.
- I can often write clearly to express ideas even when I'm too exhausted to think.
- I've got an above average knowledge and comprehension of science, politics, and various random subjects. I've got a pretty good memory for concepts I've learned, and I can usually explain them in ways that make sense to people.
- I've got a loving family and good friends who try their best to be understanding and supportive.
- My immune system kicks butt, and not just my own.
- I can sew stuffed animals and pillows. (Though I spend more on materials than I could possibly sell them for.)
- Puns just come naturally to me. My brain likes to make odd connections between random things.
- I don't have a wheelbarrow here, but I could probably get one. It's worth listing among our assets. (I do not, however, have a flammable cloak.)
My Limitations:
- I'm physically exhausted. Getting less than 9 hours of sleep in a night can mess me up for days. It's not uncommon for me to be so weary I can't sit up, can hardly draw breath, am really woozy, etc. On a good day, I can walk a mile or so. But I'll pay for it the next day. On a bad day, I can spend the entire day crashed on the couch, barely functional. I cannot, in general, predict when I'll have good or bad days. A string of bad days can last for months or longer.
- Attempting to exert myself, mentally or physically, exhausts me frighteningly fast. That can include keeping up with realtime conversations, particularly via audio instead of text.
- My nerves are hypersensitive. I'm constantly in pain. Bright lights, loud noises, high pitched noises, physical contact, etc. etc. are painful. More some days than others. But a friendly slap on the back can ache for several minutes. On rough days, I'm sensitive enough that people making small sounds halfway across the house, though a closed door, while I'm wearing high-end noise dampening ear protectors designed for the gun range, can still be overwhelming.
- I've got a non-24 "free running" sleep schedule, meaning that I'm awake different hours from week to week. I generally average a 25 hour day, but it can be hard to predict more than a couple of weeks in advance (at best) what hours I'll be awake. Makes regular commitments very difficult.
- Due to the exhaustion, it can be hard to focus mentally, and I can't maintain focus for long.
- I'm somewhat dyslexic. (It runs in the family, but I can never remember on which side...) Possibly related is a difficulty translating information from one form to another. It makes coding and diagrams very difficult.
- I've also got various other autoimmune disorders. Diabetes, hypothyroidism, alopecia totalis (i.e. no hair, including eyebrows and eyelashes).
What I'm Looking For:
- Practical advice for what I can do.
- Brainstorming for what kind of business I can start that would employ others in a way that makes a positive impact on the world and generates income for me.
What I'm Not Looking For:
- "Buck up. Others have it worse." Irrelevant. Yes, you can always find someone who has it worse than you. That doesn't mean that your own struggles aren't real. I'm dealing with my life. My limits. My needs. I'm dealing mentally as best I can. But I need actual practical solutions. Being told to just cheer up and/or get over it is unhelpful.
- "Have you tried this cure/treatment?" I've been at this for decades. I've worked with more doctors than I can count. We've done research. I've tried medications and treatment regimens. I've explored some "alternative" treatments. I know how to meditate. I'm doing the best I can for myself. Medical marijuana isn't for me and it's not a magical cure-all. If you've got some suggestion that's got actual clinical evidence, I'll consider it. But odds are I've already tried it or been advised by a medical professional that it doesn't apply to my individual case.
- "Seek professional help." I've tried. Psychiatrists, psychologists, antidepressants, a hypnotherapist. It hasn't been helpful. And it's not what I'm looking for now. I need to address the root issue.
- Unhelpful or negative comments. I'll ignore them. Spam and trolling will be deleted.
Anyone can comment. I'll respond as I can, if I have something to say. You do not have to have an account or log in to comment, but if you comment anonymously I would appreciate it if you would tell me who you are. If you're not comfortable doing that, I understand.
You can also sign in using OpenID. You should be able to use your WordPress, Blogspot, AOL, Yahoo, LiveJournal, or other participating account to sign in here. You just need your provider's OpenID URL and to be logged in at that provider. For more information, you can try OpenID Explained or the Wikipedia article. (Yeah, I know. You probably haven't used any of those services in years. But the option is there if you want.)
Alternatively, you can message me on Discord (WearsHats) or Twitter (@hataroni) or email me (hatman at dreamwidth dot org). I'd prefer to keep everything here in one place, especially since it allows people to review what others have said and bounce ideas around. But if public comments don't work for you, I'll take them where I can.
You may share this post if you think doing so would bring in helpful responses.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
It's going to be really hard for people not to project what *they* would do. :)
I believe (because I am one of them!) that there are a lot of people who would like to have a 'greater good project' that they contribute to within reasonable limits of their available time/resources, and possibly the only thing that's stopping something fantastic happening is the right coordinator/lead/champion.
For example, within my limited imagination, I'd love to be part of something that is:
: non-profit (insomuch as profit is a dirty word to me)
: generates some form of financial &/or bartered (why not) income.
: pays all contributors fairly and openly - backend or frontend
: I'd love a bit of William Morris type ethos (beauty or function) :)
: has some sort of non-overwhelming social element e.g. meetups or something
This has a danger of sounding like Etsy, but I don't get any collective feel-good awesomeness from Etsy, I just get a lot of individual creators desperately trying to get income from things, which is good! But I don't feel like 'WOW I AM PART OF THIS!' when I look there, I just feel mildly happy that it's possible to randomly sprinkle pennies on someone if I feel like it. And if I sprinkle pennies on A, I'm not doing a damned thing for B,c,d,e,f etc. Which is a shame.
(The other problem of course, is that, like, there's a danger you might have some really rubbish stuff contributed, that's taken someone just as long to make as fabulous object X, or maybe no time at all but they've put it up there so hm yeah. More thinking needed.)
But back to the positive and an example: I _could_ contribute *some* effort to such a thing (or to a completely different but equally or more fantastic thing), but I have to be careful joining projects on a freeby basis because I tend to overspend my available time and need someone I trust supervising at the receiving end to say 'stop! that's enough!' so I don't end up feeling resentful &/or poor from time not spent on billable work ;) Someone trustworthy and caring and somewhat organised and project-managery. :) Nobody likes doing things at the last minute, so the more margin/lead time on things the better, so that the odd down-period for _anyone_ involved is never a big problem - tho flip side there's a danger with freeby things that it always gets pushed to tomorrow due to xyz and momentum is lost, so there does need to be some sort of forward driving force...
Ah, right. That billable work. Better stop meandering. Good luck!! :)
From:
no subject
Thanks for reading and helping! And it's fine if people are thinking of their own things. I'm out of ideas, and anything can be a start. I could definitely do with a new perspective. But I'm not sure I follow what you have in mind here.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
I think this is your key bit here: "Find a way to make a positive difference in the world. Better, happier, fairer."
What do you mean by that? Do you want to make the WHOLE world better? In which case perhaps you could focus on personal activities you can do to promote a charity of your choice.
Or do you want to start a 'movement', in which case see if you can get some like-minded people on board, and enable them to make most difference at least cost, by project managing and leading that movement.
Or do you want to make a local situation better e.g. campaign for better accessibility in town-x.
Or... yes. What do you want to make Better, happier, fairer? :)
From:
no subject
Anything I reasonably can. I don't know.
The restaurant was my best idea. Employ people who need a fair chance and can't get one. Create a friendly and supportive working environment with the flexibility they need. While paying a living wage. And make an atmosphere where everyone can relax and be comfortable and destress. While I'm at it, make a profit so I don't have to live off my family's generosity. And prove that it's a profitable model so others can follow suit.
Except things went poorly. For a host of reasons. The idea was solid, but too many different things went wrong in the execution. Including my health taking a severe downturn so that I couldn't really be involved.
I don't know. I need to get back to sleep. Been trying for hours.
I don't want to say no. Any progress is good. Any way to do good is important. I'm trying not to focus on how much I can't do. But it's hard to see how I could take any kind of leadership/organizational role given my limits.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
OK but what about some small-ish scale 'angel investor'? For a category of your choice? :)
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Possible. I'm not sure how to go about that.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
So, I don't know: If you go with multiple small amounts then your own time deciding who to help will increase, so you probably don't want to deal in too-large amounts because the risk of the cash going poof will be high.
But $50 could buy someone a metaphorical fishing rod. Or, say, $500 could help someone buy ingredients, baking stuff and fancy packaging so they can start their international fudge delivery service. OR say, go up a notch and help someone revamp their cafe to include disabled access and a gamer's corner for local table toppers. And in return you could get some % of the resulting fish, or fudge, but hopefully hard cash profits ever after, without having to be directly involved in any day-to-day running of anything.
You will want a handy accountant and possibly a solicitor if you're dealing in amounts you'd really rather not say goodbye to forever, of course, and that cost would have to itself be accounted for. :)
(general disclaimer of knowing nothing applies.)
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
"BUT you probably don't want to deal in too-large amounts "
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
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But how do I find and vet people?
Actually, what you're describing sounds more like Kiva. I've used them to make dozens of microloans. Except, while the institutions making the microloans charge exorbitant interest (to offset the high number of defaults), Kiva doesn't give us interest. You give $25 to help crowdfund, and if all goes well you get $25 back.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
Any maybe that's ok? But it's not sustainable from your end without some more return, is it. :(
Needs more thinking. :)
From:
no subject
Right. Needs return. And needs a lot of effort to reach out and find people and vet their projects.
But the microloan field offices exist. And they do make money. I think.
Needs more thought.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
(If you're curious, I personally loan on Prosper as one of the ways I invest my savings, but that is the extent of my affiliation, and there are other services like it: Lending Club, SoFi, Funding Circle, Upstart, just look up P2P Lenders and see if any of the big'uns feels like a good fit for you maybe.)
From: (Anonymous)
Something to do...
If coding itself is a bit too mentally intensive, web design is probably harder to get into, but potentially rewarding. Don't know terribly much about it I must admit as it's not my field of study, but to sum it up briefly, it's to make websites "look nice"- Which is something also often required.
Just an idea I'm throwing out there- Hope it's food for thought, at the very least.
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Re: Something to do...
From:
Re: Something to do...
Yeah, that's been suggested over the years. Unfortunately, I've never had an aptitude for coding. It literally hurts my head. My brain just doesn't work that way. Hard to explain.
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Re: Something to do...
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Re: Something to do...
I joined both the doc and antispam communities back in the day. Never managed to be of much use. I don't know. Maybe?
From: (Anonymous)
Re: Something to do...
About programming - have you looked into "ladder" coding?
It is sorts of programming, but more on logic like level. I don't have the brain for "proper" PC programming, but controllers on ladder are extremely fun activity (for me at leas). Most controller manufacturers sell their development tools, but there is at least one I'm closely familiar and love them - Unitronics - their software is free and they have very good and supportive forum. If you are interested in taking a look :
Main site :
https://unitronicsplc.com/software-u90-for-programmable-controllers/
https://unitronicsplc.com/software-visilogic-for-programmable-controllers/
Forum :
http://forum.unitronics.com/forum/13-oplcs-and-application-software/
They have two (now three, but am unfamiliar with UniStream) main sections - controller with two 16-character lines (Jazz / M90) and Vision (V350 / V700) that are touchscreens.
From: (Anonymous)
Re: Something to do...
I've understood webdesign doesn't require as much coding, so it might be worth looking into, but admittedly graphical design was never one of my own strong suits so I can't help you farther much there. There's a definite demand for people who can do it, at least. (Although I am partly afraid it's harder to pull off alone, since barring you do it on a couple specific platforms that "do the programming for you", it usually requires some coding to freelance, otherwise it requires a helper.)
From:
Re: Something to do...
But I've got a list now of a few ideas that may be possible. I don't have a strong feeling about any in particular, but I'll look into them as I'm able.
From: (Anonymous)
Re: Something to do...
It sounds like for whatever this is going to be you need a strong hand to assist you. Someone you can trust to go over things with you, and make Decisions without you when you're not available.
As for what, I am not sure. I have 24 gerbils if you want to start a pet store, but I think if you find that number 2, it has to be something they are willing to out themselves into.
You have passions for geeky, creative, positive things. Hobby shops do well if the interest is there, classes and events generate interests.
I'll ponder more on this and get back to you.
From:
Re: Something to do...
Yeah. That was the plan with the restaurant. Find a friend with similar values who has the energy and drive to handle things. Unfortunately, it didn't go well. My trust was misplaced. But I can try again.
Thanks. Thought is what I need. Time isn't a problem. Got more of that than I know what to do with.
From: (Anonymous)
.
My first suggestion (I'll think on this more, but I'm just responding immediately this morning after reading), is consulting.
I would say build a profile that allows you to consult with people doing work in the fields/areas where you know you have expertise - and make it available online via Skype and Email so you don't have to travel. This can be anything from providing project feedback, reviewing documentation, guidance (especially for young people/college students studying in your areas of expertise), giving feedback/recommendations for presentations, etc.
The important thing is for you to have the flexibility to work from home and not exert yourself too much, while using what you've got as far as knowledge, experience and analytical thinking.
I don't know enough about your specific areas of education/knowledge to give any more specific advice, but in general, consulting is a low-overhead way to use what you've got on your own terms.
From:
Re: .
Yeah, just had someone else suggest similar. "Professional muse."
I don't know that I can claim "expertise" in anything. I've got half an undergrad degree in mechanical engineering, and whatever miscellaneous knowledge I've picked up over the years in less formal ways.
My other hesitations are: 1. I can, without warning, go for months at a time being too sick for significant human contact, let alone being able to process complex situations and offer advice. 2. I'm uncomfortable charging people for friendship.
But it's a start. Needs more thought. And today is not a good day. (I posted this earlier than planned because I was awake for several hours in the middle of the night. Finally managed to get a few more hours, but now I'm just foggy.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
I've read your blog (the whole thing) this morning, and a couple of things come to mind. As I see it, you've got a lot of skill as a writer. Your explanatory post is eloquent and extremely easy to read. That's a rare skill to have, even if you're well so I'd make use of that.
I get that you've been burned in the past, so I wouldn't aim to start with anything too big or grand, but what about setting up a small charity of your own? You could use the beanie hat as your symbol :)
Perhaps something like starting a small fund (e.g. <$500 - 1000 grants) to send a kid to a science camp, or to fund small bits of research? There are a LOT of MSc / undergrad students who could make use of that sort of money just to buy consumables, or get themselves started with a research project and maybe get into a research career.
Maybe use it to fund the sort of stuff that you wanted to do before you got sick?
That kind of thing could help you give back, without being financially, mentally or physically crippling. You could do it at your own pace (like one award per year even), and the fundraising aspect could give you work to do with a purpose, without being overwhelming.
From:
no subject
It's a start. I am hoping to find a way to generate income. But just helping out would certainly be a step in the right direction.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
What about freelance writing jobs? One of my mates ended up housebound for a lengthy period of time and earned a bit by doing this kind of thing. It was mostly writing content for websites (because search engines look for regular, organically-generated content rather than just keyword lists these days) but I think it paid ok.
She was UK based, but a quick google threw up some resources like this:
https://thewritelife.com/find-freelance-writing-jobs/
Your engineering knowledge could be a decent advantage for you here and help you land more scientific-writing / proofing / copywriting style jobs if that is of interest.
Editing student essays / theses could be another alternative, but I would expect that you'd have to be up front about potentially needing a long lead-time on turning around any work. From my experience, students and academics all work to deadlines and need everything yesterday.
From:
no subject
I have a friend who is a freelance writer. I can look into it. But, again, deadlines are an issue.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
Could still be worth a look though, and you might be able to find work that's available on a more ad hoc basis or with soft deadlines. Like I say, I don't really know the field, but you're a good writer :)
From: (Anonymous)
Hopefully helpful advice
From:
Re: Hopefully helpful advice
Hi Chuck. Thanks.
Sorry to hear of your own struggles. I wish you the best.
As you say, the unpredictability of my ability to get things done is a major obstacle. Data entry isn't too useful if you can't commit to getting it done on time.
Likewise, the rate at which exhaustion sets in makes getting the degrees necessary to be a counselor almost impossible. And I would be of limited use with my unpredictable schedule. I might be interested in something along those lines if I could figure out how to make it practicable.
From: (Anonymous)
Re: Hopefully helpful advice
From: (Anonymous)
Hi, this is AnnaBtG. :)
I agree with all the ideas that have you working over the Internet. Stuff like building a forum, where you really have to do little else other than hosting, because you can assign mods and everything. It can be used for exchange of ideas, or more tangible things. Revenue can be generated from ads or donations, so that you don't have to charge people for using it.
It's been suggested to you before, I know, but maybe something that involves writing, like a blog. You can write at your own pace and see how it picks up. We'll advertise you everywhere!
I'm also trying to think about a service you could sell and not have you answer "but I never know if and when I can committ for something." Probably something that involves generating written content, like ads. A solution is to have a partner to pick it up when you're not up to doing it yourself.
Or - sponsor someone. You may have a friend who's, say, a lawyer. Help them open their office, get a part of the revenue. Someone who works alone and provides a service is much less risky than a restaurant and you're getting around the part of not having a degree of expertise.
I'll come back if I think of anything better. For now ♥
From: (Anonymous)
Silly Products?
OK, one thought that I had that I think satisfies at least a few of these criteria is in coming up with niche-based products (possibly pun-related, who knows!?). I attended a webinar a while ago about how to start a small product-oriented business that could generate some side income. This has several things going for it:
- no inventory, it's all at an On-Demand place like GearBubble.com
- You can test out product ideas and see which ones strike a chord without spending any money
- It isn't time-sensitive you can work on it at your own pace
- low cost of entry (a webinar or course on how to do this is probly 1500 - 2000 maybe and gives you all the tools to be successful)
If you're interested I can dig up the original free webinar I went to (actually I found it:
https://s3.amazonaws.com/Scrivener/Bonuses/WEBINAR+PDF+GUIDES/PDF+-++Low+Hanging+System+Comprehensive+Webinar+Summary+Guide.pdf?inf_contact_key=2686714ad7e0a1e11cd98e9b2dadc840b11d12b735dd0d96e8de6184d2a58020
From:
I am who you think I am.
I mean, what I'm hearing from you wears is that, you need something that can
1. make money,
2. operate somewhat self-sufficiently,
3. is enjoyable for the days you have the energy to enjoy it but can still (see 2).
4. Makes the world a better place (which kind of vague, but then again, alcohol kind of makes the world a better place, alcohol was just my one example of course)
5. doesn't cost a ton of money to start, but enough that it keeps every other joe blow from doing it, cause then everyone would be making money right?
The one thing that comes to mind is housing, I realize that maybe where you live that's not possible, but there are a lot of states or cities, my own, or say detroit, where housing is ....widely and cheaply available. Owning rentals and managing them is...a headache, you have to have hope that you find a good tenant who won't trash your place but also pay on time and not have a lot of problems.
However, if it sounds interesting, I would suggest you check out your local Sheriffs Sales. Foreclosures are both risky and rewarding and sometimes you get really lucky, like 5k to buy + another 5k in renovations making 500/month, pay-off in 2 years and afterwards nothing but money.
The other option is flipping.
Other ideas: Think Tank/human computer, I'm not sure how to get into such a field, but there are jobs out there of people who do nothing but situational thinking, trying to break into security systems, brainstorming, whatever. It sounds like you have a very brilliant and active mind, you just need something to do with it, perhaps being part of a think-tank could be a good use of your brain, which is crippled by a body that hurts the way yours does.
And on talking about your limitations, in the coming years, technology might actually help you somewhat overcome your inability to get out of the house. Already they have limited capability with thought reading devices which can move the mouse on a computer screen, some tech watches where your eyes move to anticipate "opening" windows or folders, even other tech has made is possible for people to simple speak commands and their computer performs tasks. VR is making strong headway and perhaps a wearable device is in the near future that is affordable.
Become a host for a popular mmorpg, like mine craft, setup a server, or host one and then invite all of your friends and acquaintances to pay a very small (1-5 dollar/month) service fee and boom profit.
You could also potentially write a book, people love a story and it sounds like you've got one. People enjoy reading about hope, about persistence, Tell your story, explain to people how you've been every which way and loose and how you've kept your head about you til now.
The possibilities are limitless.
From:
Re: I am who you think I am.
Beebo down below is thinking of starting a distillery. Not what I envisioned for a teetotaler like myself, but I'm not saying no just yet. Trying to keep an open mind.
Think tank is interesting, but, yeah, I don't know how one gets into that, either. I expect you need some kind of diploma to be taken seriously.
Not sure about writing. Can't do fiction, but non-fiction is on the list to think about. Dad is working on a book. I don't know what I have in me. I don't know that there's a longer story than what I wrote in the linked autobiography post.
Anyway, thanks for reading, helping, and encouraging.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
Wish I could phrase that in a better, wiser, cleverer way, and I don't mean "dream smaller!"I just mean - wow, man, you've got enough on your plate without beating yourself up because you can't fix centuries-old flaws in human society, or medical problems that baffle massive corporations. It's OK, the rest of us are working on those. You can focus on you and your family's finances and health for the next while. You don't need to save us too.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
So, I'm not the greatest at generating profit. That is a *very* specific skillset which tends to involve 1. having start-up money, and 2. a very specific set of skills and mindset to pull off.
I think that's inefficient, and I think that sentences a lot of people to death.
I don't know if you've heard about Guaranteed Minimum Income, but at this point of resource hoarding in our society, I've come to see it as an absolute necessity rather than just a nice option.
It's started picking up some traction in Silicon Valley - in fact, I think Zuckerberg might have even floated the idea recently.
I need to come up with a solid battle plan as to how to approach this as an individual - and how to help other individuals approach this until the demand is overwhelming - but it is something urgent, and something that would change both our lives in such astounding ways if it ever comes to fruition.
If you're not familiar with it, it's been experimented with to great success in Canada, as well as a small town here in the US to great results. Of course, that's where it stopped: a trial period.
My partner got an assignment on Mechanical Turk recently, from a study in Syracuse evaluating the feasibility of Guaranteed Minimum Income. People are interested in this. Even people in power are considering this. Now it's just a matter of building momentum, like Bernie did, and getting enough people to demand this instead of letting politicians keep fooling around with killing Medicare.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
From more recent experience I can tell you that owning an event venue may be a low impact way to have some income coming in at least. Even small places can be quite expensive to rent out, and all that has to be managed is maintenance and general upkeep.
I know it's not a lot, but it was a thought that my husband and I have discussed on and off since January. I'm going to keep you in the back of my head though, and continue to try and come up with something.
From:
no subject