The Plan

[hatman]

Step 2: Create a kangaroo-themed chain of fast food restaurants
Step 3: Introduce the Hoppy Meal
Step 6: World domination!
Step 7: Ice cream!
Step 8: Stop the penguins from taking over the world
Step 12: Cap salaries for sports stars, actors, etc., channel the money into things that are actually useful, like education, research, and video game development
Step 13: Introduce accountability, credentials, and fact-checking to the punditry industry
Step 18: Rid the world of war, famine, insurance companies, Spongebob, and Wal-Mart
Step 21: Resign. Hand over the reins to Rachel Maddow
Step 22: Ice cream!
Step 27: Legally change name to The Dread Pirate Wesley
Step 30: Popularize the phrase "as coordinated as a Twi'lek on a bad tail day"
Step 38: Fill in the blanks of ste -- oh, crap. Too late.
Step 42: Don't panic!
Step 50: Try to remember what the point of all this was
Step 69: Introduce the concept of backslash. Start with something simple, like Elton John\Ellen DeGeneres, then expand to include the Fab Five, Rosie O'Donnel, Laura Kightlinger, and whomever else
Step 70: Defend self
Step 73: There is no step 73. Or 74.
Step 75: Watch out. You just missed a couple of steps.
Step 76: Thanks for the warning. Jerk.
Step 83: Really, try to remember what... oh, never mind.
Step 86: Get smart
Step 93: Narf!
Step 99: Red balloons!
Step 100: Happily ever after. Or at least for the next week or two.

Comments

[beansideirae.livejournal.com]

also, i have to ask about the red balloons, since there's a related song on my current playlist.

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's on mine, too. ;)

Do you have the German or English version?

[beansideirae.livejournal.com]

mine is mostly english, with some german in the middle. i got it on an unlabelled mix cd i inherited from one of my ex's a while back. (which he inherited from someone else.) at one point i tried to track down the various songs, and apparently i came to the conclusion this was by someone called "goldfinger".

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

Ah, I think that may be a cover version of the original.

I can send you the original, if you want. I have the English version, anyway. The true original was in German, but the artist (Nena) released an English version, too. In German, the song was "99 luftballons" (not sure of the spelling on that), "luft" being German for "air." When she translated it, she found that she needed an extra syllable to make it come out right, and since "air balloons" is silly and redundant in English, she decided to make it "red balloons."

The song itself, BTW, is a protest against Cold War nuclear paranoia. She releases her dreams (embodied by a bunch of balloons) into the air, and the paranoid military sees it as an invasion of their airspace, which sets off a nuclear war.

[beansideirae.livejournal.com]

i was aware of the song's history ;) and i'd like to hear the original, sure. still have my email?

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

Sent. Let me know if it fails to arrive.

[beansideirae.livejournal.com]

the email arrived. now i'm not sure what to do with it, tho. i'm at my parents' and i dont seem to have brought any form of media storage. i'll figure something out, i guess...

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

It's stored on the Hotmail server, no? So you can get it later, when you actually do have storage available.