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Today marks 20 years since I was diagnosed with diabetes.
In some ways, it's changed my life. Strengthened my self-discipline. I never could stick to a diet before. Helped me get over my severe squeamishness around needles.
In other ways, it's made surprisingly little difference. I can get around just fine from day to day. Eat what I want (within reason). Prick my fingers, do some basic math, take some shots... and I'm fine.
But I can't forget that it impacts my long-term health. Build-up from excess sugar can damage just about any body part you can name. And my entire life is dependent on those shots. (Which kind of makes any kind of survivalist training rather moot.) They're not cheap, either. Insulin, needles, testing supplies... it adds up to thousands of dollars a year.
It's strange. On the one hand, it doesn't seem like a big deal. I have to take some medicine when I eat. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? And as long as I take my medicine properly, I can have a normal life. But taking it properly is trickier than it sounds, even with years of experience. And without it I'd sicken and die.
Fibromyalgia limits me far more in my daily life. But diabetes is the only thing I have that's directly life-threatening, the only one with direct and severe long-term consequences.
But... it's normal. It's the reality I've lived for 20 years. My entire adult life. Most of the time, I hardly even think about it. I just take my shots, carry emergency supplies, do what needs to be done, and get on with the rest of my day. It's shaped my life, it's become background noise in my life. It's a day-to-day minor inconvenience. It's a huge long-term threat. It's almost fully treatable. It's nowhere near curable.
It's diabetes. I've lived with it, triumphed over it, learned from it, marveled at how far we've come in just the last two generations, wondered why it's taken so long to get further, dreaded it, taken it for granted. It's made me stronger, it's made me more vulnerable.
Twenty years since my immune system killed off part of my pancreas. Twenty years that I've learned to live without it.
Tomorrow is the beginning of year twenty-one.
P.S. Thanks to Birnn Chocolates, makers of the finest sugar-free chocolates I have ever found. I do not want to even think what the last twenty years would have been without them.
In some ways, it's changed my life. Strengthened my self-discipline. I never could stick to a diet before. Helped me get over my severe squeamishness around needles.
In other ways, it's made surprisingly little difference. I can get around just fine from day to day. Eat what I want (within reason). Prick my fingers, do some basic math, take some shots... and I'm fine.
But I can't forget that it impacts my long-term health. Build-up from excess sugar can damage just about any body part you can name. And my entire life is dependent on those shots. (Which kind of makes any kind of survivalist training rather moot.) They're not cheap, either. Insulin, needles, testing supplies... it adds up to thousands of dollars a year.
It's strange. On the one hand, it doesn't seem like a big deal. I have to take some medicine when I eat. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? And as long as I take my medicine properly, I can have a normal life. But taking it properly is trickier than it sounds, even with years of experience. And without it I'd sicken and die.
Fibromyalgia limits me far more in my daily life. But diabetes is the only thing I have that's directly life-threatening, the only one with direct and severe long-term consequences.
But... it's normal. It's the reality I've lived for 20 years. My entire adult life. Most of the time, I hardly even think about it. I just take my shots, carry emergency supplies, do what needs to be done, and get on with the rest of my day. It's shaped my life, it's become background noise in my life. It's a day-to-day minor inconvenience. It's a huge long-term threat. It's almost fully treatable. It's nowhere near curable.
It's diabetes. I've lived with it, triumphed over it, learned from it, marveled at how far we've come in just the last two generations, wondered why it's taken so long to get further, dreaded it, taken it for granted. It's made me stronger, it's made me more vulnerable.
Twenty years since my immune system killed off part of my pancreas. Twenty years that I've learned to live without it.
Tomorrow is the beginning of year twenty-one.
P.S. Thanks to Birnn Chocolates, makers of the finest sugar-free chocolates I have ever found. I do not want to even think what the last twenty years would have been without them.
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*ahem*
It's very interesting to read your experience. I'm not unfamiliar with diabetes; my grandpa has had it for the past 30 years or so.
This:
Fibromyalgia limits me far more in my daily life. But diabetes is the only thing I have that's directly life-threatening, the only one with direct and severe long-term consequences.
On one hand, thank goodness there is a good treatment for the most life-threatening of your diseases.
On the other hand, it's such a shame that the one that's just there to make you uncomfortable and doesn't cause nearly as much danger, is the one you can do so little about. It feels... counter-intuitive? I don't know if you get what I mean.
*hugs!!*
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Anyway, I get what you mean.
Really, I just wish it was all curable, you know? (How's that for an obvious statement? ;) )
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Both my brother-in-law and my nephew are diabetic. My BIL, having lived with it for almost as long as you, feels no impact. He eats, he takes insulin, he just has to worry about money for insurance and medicine. My poor nephew, on the other hand, is only 6. He's still learning that he can't always eat what he wants. He tries to bargain and push, and it doesn't help that his mom doesn't treat it properly. He's looking forward to the day when he can get a mechanical pancreas.
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Mechanical pancreas? I was designing one with some friends back when I was in college. With a built-in meter capable of sampling blood from inside the body. And, maybe, theoretically, if we could get it to safely work, a colony of insulin-producing yeast. We were kicking around the idea, anyway. The people with the actual funding and everything haven't managed to make it a reality yet (disappointing, as it's been a decade already), but they're inching their way towards it.
Don't know what to say about the 6-year-old. That's rough. In some ways, it can be better if you get used to it early. But things like Halloween must be really hard. And getting used to it early only works with good parental support.
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