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Like I said in the cut text, this isn't really that funny. It's just one of those things that makes you stop and go "huh?" I kind of had to share.
A bit of background info: We train our dogs (we have one at a time, but this is the second one to get this training) to eat treats in bed. That is, when we give them something special (especially when it's something crumbly), we give it with the injunction to "take it to your bed." It's to keep the dog from leaving a trail of crumbs all over the kitchen. They take it to heart, though, and quickly begin to bring all treats to bed. (It's kind of instinctual anyway. Wolves will take any really good bits they can secure back to their own den/territory, so they can savor it in peace, without worrying too much about anyone else taking it away.)
Our current dog is actually smart enough to do some basic fractions. Give him a whole sheet of matzah, and he'll carry it to his bed. Give him half a sheet, and, more often than not, he'll carry it halfway to his bed (from wherever he was standing when you gave it to him) and then proceed to eat it in the middle of the floor. Give him a third of a sheet, and he actually will carry it somewhat less than halfway. It's impressive.
Sometimes, when you give him something crumbly but he's not especially thrilled with it, he'll carry it over just far enough that his head is over the corner of the bed (the bed is actually a bit of foam padding with a blanket wrapped around it that sits in the corner of the kitchen). That way, he can gobble it standing up and most of the crumbs land on the corner of the bed.
So, anyway... Last night, I gave Grandpa his dinner. When he was done, there was still a fair amount on the plate. Because I was feeling generous and have a strong "do not waste food" directive (Mom's always been keen on that), I dropped the leftovers in the dog's bowl.
He hears that distinctive sound and comes right over to investigate. What he found was a piece of toast and half of a hamburger. The toast was dry, except for maybe some juices from the hamburger (which had been sitting on top of it). The burger was juicy, and cut open to reveal that it had been grilled to medium (I had the heat on too high, it seems. The outside was well cooked, but the center was more than pink).
This left him with a simple problem: Which to eat first, a piece of dry toast or a bit of juicy half-cooked red meat? Decisions, decisions.
Now, he is pretty smart for a dog. As mentioned, he can do fractions. And he's picked up a lot more English than you'd expect. But still, I think an understanding of the concept of delayed gratification is a little beyond him.
So, faced with this very simple and straightforward choice... Guess what my dog did.
He went right for the...
Dammit, you cheated. Because you know that if he'd made the obvious decision, I wouldn't be writing about it.
So... yeah...
He looks in the bowl. He sees the two items. And he goes, "Ooo! TOAST!!", grabs the toast, and carries it straight off to bed. Where he lies down with it and savors every last crumb.
And then stays there. Not for long, mind you, but long enough that I started to wonder if maybe I was going to have to remind him that there was a nice big fat juicy bit of hamburger still waiting in his bowl. But then, just as I started to draw breath to do so, he got up, halfheartedly wandered back over to the bowl, and wolfed down the meat, swallowing it on the spot, more or less whole (there was a perfunctory chew or two).
Sometimes I really wonder what goes through that furry little head.
A bit of background info: We train our dogs (we have one at a time, but this is the second one to get this training) to eat treats in bed. That is, when we give them something special (especially when it's something crumbly), we give it with the injunction to "take it to your bed." It's to keep the dog from leaving a trail of crumbs all over the kitchen. They take it to heart, though, and quickly begin to bring all treats to bed. (It's kind of instinctual anyway. Wolves will take any really good bits they can secure back to their own den/territory, so they can savor it in peace, without worrying too much about anyone else taking it away.)
Our current dog is actually smart enough to do some basic fractions. Give him a whole sheet of matzah, and he'll carry it to his bed. Give him half a sheet, and, more often than not, he'll carry it halfway to his bed (from wherever he was standing when you gave it to him) and then proceed to eat it in the middle of the floor. Give him a third of a sheet, and he actually will carry it somewhat less than halfway. It's impressive.
Sometimes, when you give him something crumbly but he's not especially thrilled with it, he'll carry it over just far enough that his head is over the corner of the bed (the bed is actually a bit of foam padding with a blanket wrapped around it that sits in the corner of the kitchen). That way, he can gobble it standing up and most of the crumbs land on the corner of the bed.
So, anyway... Last night, I gave Grandpa his dinner. When he was done, there was still a fair amount on the plate. Because I was feeling generous and have a strong "do not waste food" directive (Mom's always been keen on that), I dropped the leftovers in the dog's bowl.
He hears that distinctive sound and comes right over to investigate. What he found was a piece of toast and half of a hamburger. The toast was dry, except for maybe some juices from the hamburger (which had been sitting on top of it). The burger was juicy, and cut open to reveal that it had been grilled to medium (I had the heat on too high, it seems. The outside was well cooked, but the center was more than pink).
This left him with a simple problem: Which to eat first, a piece of dry toast or a bit of juicy half-cooked red meat? Decisions, decisions.
Now, he is pretty smart for a dog. As mentioned, he can do fractions. And he's picked up a lot more English than you'd expect. But still, I think an understanding of the concept of delayed gratification is a little beyond him.
So, faced with this very simple and straightforward choice... Guess what my dog did.
He went right for the...
Dammit, you cheated. Because you know that if he'd made the obvious decision, I wouldn't be writing about it.
So... yeah...
He looks in the bowl. He sees the two items. And he goes, "Ooo! TOAST!!", grabs the toast, and carries it straight off to bed. Where he lies down with it and savors every last crumb.
And then stays there. Not for long, mind you, but long enough that I started to wonder if maybe I was going to have to remind him that there was a nice big fat juicy bit of hamburger still waiting in his bowl. But then, just as I started to draw breath to do so, he got up, halfheartedly wandered back over to the bowl, and wolfed down the meat, swallowing it on the spot, more or less whole (there was a perfunctory chew or two).
Sometimes I really wonder what goes through that furry little head.
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Thanks for sharing the story. It's not ha-ha funny, true, but it was cute and I read it with a smile on my face. :D
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