(no subject)

[hatman]

Apropos of nothing at all, I just stumbled onto this while doing a bit of idle research, and I... well, I had to share.

Official US Dept of Agriculture Commercial Item Description for "Beef Snacks, Cured"

(In other words, government requirements, specifications, etc. for packaged beef jerky.)

Some highlights:

3. CLASSIFICATION. The beef snacks shall conform to the following list which shall be specified in the solicitation, contract, or purchase order.

Types, styles, and flavors.

Type I - Beef Jerky
Style A - Strips (Chopped and Formed)
Style B - Sliced (Natural)
Type II - Kippered Beef
Style A - Strips (Chopped and Formed)

Flavor 1 - Smoked
Flavor 2 - Teriyaki
Flavor 3 - Barbeque
Flavor 4 - Peppered
Flavor 5 - Hot
Flavor 6 - Sweet and Spicy
Flavor 7 - Other

A little lower:

5.3.2 Odor and flavor. The odor and flavor of the beef snacks shall be characteristic of the flavor specified. There shall be no foreign odors or flavors such as, but not limited to, burnt, scorched, moldy, rancid, sour or stale.

On the next page, there's a table which specifies that, for example, "Type 1, Style A" beef snacks must contain (by weight) no more than 30% fat and 5% salt and must contain at least 25% protein.

Then there's this little gem:

6.1.2 E. coli count. The E. coli count shall be less than 3 per gram (no positive tubes in the standard 3 tube Most Probable Number technique) in four of five samples and not greater than 10 per gram in any sample.

I kind of want to meet the poor crushed soul guy who wrote this stuff. And take a tour of the strange little world in which he (or she!) must live. Reading this, I almost feel like I can touch that world. It's a... dizzying experience.