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1. Feeling pretty jetlagged. Circumstances this past weekend really messed with my sleep schedule.
2. Should also mention that I'll have spotty internet access for the next week or so.
3. From Twitter: Spacewalker Bobby Satcher just said, "...give a shout out to the Twitterverse."
From the universe to the Twitterverse. Silly Dr. Satcher. Doesn't he know that in space, no one can hear you tweet? I guess he just doesn't appreciate the microgravity of the situation.
Still... it's kinda cool. But also oddly scary.
4. Found a couple of interesting items in SkyMall.
The "Body Figure Enhancing Pads" caught my eye first. Diet until you look more like a sick figure than a healthy human being, but don't worry, we can fix that! Just slip these pads into your jeans and it'll look like you actually still have curves and a butt! All the fun of padding your bra, but upside-down! (Just don't try to sit down...)
Also, for you Yankee fans:
For only $799, you can buy a seat from the original Yankee Stadium!
Better yet, you can get two for $1499!
If that's out of your price range... never fear!
$99 will buy you an authentic chunk of freeze dried Yankee Stadium grass! But wait! Only $21 more, and you can get a square foot of Yankee Stadium sod! Better yet, $280 gets you four square feet! It even comes with a free bag of Yankees grass seed, which would otherwise cost $25. (And stoners thought their grass was expensive...)
Other items of interest:
Truck Antlers! They go in the windows to make your truck look like a deer! How precious. And hiliarious. BTW, you can't close your windows all the way because the antlers are there, so you'll probably get that annoying whistling sound at highway speed. And if you open the window, the antlers will fall out. Possibly causing an accident in the next lane over.
Windmill for your cell phone! Yes, now you can make use of all that hot air. This backup battery for your favorite portable electronics not only has a solar panel (like several others on the market), but also a small wind turbine. Just stand around holding this giant battery up in what is hopefully a decent breeze and, eventually, (probably after a few hours on a good day), it will recharge. Yay for green power!
Telekinetic Obstacle Course. The headband reads your brainwaves, and, based on theta wave activity, adjusts the power to a fan which holds a ball aloft. Focus, and you can get the ball to go up and down. Use a knob (so much for TK) to rotate the board, allowing you to maneuver the ball past one of nine interchangeable obstacles. Wow.
But I saved the best for last:
Underwater Cell Phone System
Now, not even the depths of the ocean can keep you from those vital "Hey, I thought I was on vacation, dammit!" conference calls. For a mere $1790 (plus tax and shipping), you can get this floating antenna and make cell phone calls while scuba diving! Never be out of touch with your favorite telemarketer again! "But wait," you say. "It's a floating antenna? How am i supposed to use that while diving?" Quite simple! A 40 meter cable connects the antenna to the Bluetooth headset built in to the mask. Because of course the excellent voice quality of Bluetooth will work just fine through water. Of course, if anyone else happens to be diving in the area with a tether to the surface, you just know you're going to get all tangled up together. But no matter. You can always call for help - or call each other! Just make sure not to dive more than, say, 38 meters down (have to leave some wiggle room and all - waves, horizontal distance, etc).
SkyMall can be entertaining and amusing. Every once in a while, it pops up something cool and interesting like the giant cupcake of doom or the recycled plastic composter or something (which can generally be found elsewhere for 2/3 the price). But sometimes I worry that there's actually a market for some of this stuff. And sometimes, it just seems to highlight everything that's wrong with this world.
2. Should also mention that I'll have spotty internet access for the next week or so.
3. From Twitter: Spacewalker Bobby Satcher just said, "...give a shout out to the Twitterverse."
From the universe to the Twitterverse. Silly Dr. Satcher. Doesn't he know that in space, no one can hear you tweet? I guess he just doesn't appreciate the microgravity of the situation.
Still... it's kinda cool. But also oddly scary.
4. Found a couple of interesting items in SkyMall.
The "Body Figure Enhancing Pads" caught my eye first. Diet until you look more like a sick figure than a healthy human being, but don't worry, we can fix that! Just slip these pads into your jeans and it'll look like you actually still have curves and a butt! All the fun of padding your bra, but upside-down! (Just don't try to sit down...)
Also, for you Yankee fans:
For only $799, you can buy a seat from the original Yankee Stadium!
Better yet, you can get two for $1499!
If that's out of your price range... never fear!
$99 will buy you an authentic chunk of freeze dried Yankee Stadium grass! But wait! Only $21 more, and you can get a square foot of Yankee Stadium sod! Better yet, $280 gets you four square feet! It even comes with a free bag of Yankees grass seed, which would otherwise cost $25. (And stoners thought their grass was expensive...)
Other items of interest:
Truck Antlers! They go in the windows to make your truck look like a deer! How precious. And hiliarious. BTW, you can't close your windows all the way because the antlers are there, so you'll probably get that annoying whistling sound at highway speed. And if you open the window, the antlers will fall out. Possibly causing an accident in the next lane over.
Windmill for your cell phone! Yes, now you can make use of all that hot air. This backup battery for your favorite portable electronics not only has a solar panel (like several others on the market), but also a small wind turbine. Just stand around holding this giant battery up in what is hopefully a decent breeze and, eventually, (probably after a few hours on a good day), it will recharge. Yay for green power!
Telekinetic Obstacle Course. The headband reads your brainwaves, and, based on theta wave activity, adjusts the power to a fan which holds a ball aloft. Focus, and you can get the ball to go up and down. Use a knob (so much for TK) to rotate the board, allowing you to maneuver the ball past one of nine interchangeable obstacles. Wow.
But I saved the best for last:
Underwater Cell Phone System
Now, not even the depths of the ocean can keep you from those vital "Hey, I thought I was on vacation, dammit!" conference calls. For a mere $1790 (plus tax and shipping), you can get this floating antenna and make cell phone calls while scuba diving! Never be out of touch with your favorite telemarketer again! "But wait," you say. "It's a floating antenna? How am i supposed to use that while diving?" Quite simple! A 40 meter cable connects the antenna to the Bluetooth headset built in to the mask. Because of course the excellent voice quality of Bluetooth will work just fine through water. Of course, if anyone else happens to be diving in the area with a tether to the surface, you just know you're going to get all tangled up together. But no matter. You can always call for help - or call each other! Just make sure not to dive more than, say, 38 meters down (have to leave some wiggle room and all - waves, horizontal distance, etc).
SkyMall can be entertaining and amusing. Every once in a while, it pops up something cool and interesting like the giant cupcake of doom or the recycled plastic composter or something (which can generally be found elsewhere for 2/3 the price). But sometimes I worry that there's actually a market for some of this stuff. And sometimes, it just seems to highlight everything that's wrong with this world.