hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
hatman ([personal profile] hatman) wrote2014-12-10 04:32 pm

(no subject)

Hi there. So I've got a few things to maybe make clearer, and trying to fit it in to a series of tweets just seemed ridiculous. So here goes. I'll try to make sense, but I'm going to end up rambling as there are a bunch of disjointed thoughts from different directions and I'm not so good at organizing them. I'll do my best.

I have a lot of sympathy for what you're going through. Like I told you, I've got fibro, I've had to deal with loss of cognitive function, I have a friend who was hit by a car and lost cognitive function. You seem like a good person who's going through a rough time. And I really don't like that plea deal nonsense.

I like your art. You do beautiful work. And I like the subjects you chose. Carol Danvers doesn't get the credit she deserves. (At least she's finally getting a movie. Eventually.) You say you like creating comics. I think you're good at it. I want to encourage you to keep at it. Even if you don't think you're that good yet.

I get feeling uninspired and having trouble creating. I used to have a lot of fun writing stories, but I haven't been able to in years. I just lost too much processing power, particularly of the creative kind. So I don't want to pressure you. But you're good at drawing and you like it and I think it could be good for you (not that I know you well enough to say, really, but there are a lot of potential reasons).

I realize you don't want charity. I respect that. You don't want a handout, I won't give you a handout. But the holidays are coming up and money now can be more important than money later. I'm willing to pay up front and take you at your word that you'll deliver when you can.

Helping people is important to me. Ever since I was a kid, I've measured my self-worth by how much of a positive difference I'm able to make in the world. It's who I am, deep down. And the things that have always made me the happiest are the things I've done to make other people happy. So, in a weird way, trying to be generous is my way of being selfish, if that makes any sense. And the frustrating thing is that the fibro has forced me to put my life on hold for well over a decade. I had plans. I was going to get an engineering degree and design medical equipment and artificial organs and implants. I can't do that anymore. That path is closed to me now. So it's even more important to me to be able to reach out in other ways.

That said, I do have a Plan B. Took me long enough to get there, but it was hard admitting that I couldn't get back to where I was planning to be. It's taking a lot more time than I thought to get things together, but the plan now is to open a restaurant. One which provides employment opportunities to people who unfairly find them denied - homeless, disabled, veterans. People who can't find jobs for no better reason than that they're down on their luck. I want to do that in a comforting and welcoming and socially and environmentally responsible place. And hopefully make a living off it.

But I'm also planning to use the walls of the place... Well, once I finally get a place - it's taking ages. I've had several deals fall through at the last minute due to insane landlords. Still trying to find an affordable location that has what we need where the deal doesn't fall through for some stupid reason. I'll spare you the details. ... But what I was trying to say is that once I get the place set up, I'm planning to use the walls as a rotating art gallery. Put up different pieces from different artists and let people buy them. I get free decor that's always new and changing (or at least every few weeks), artists get exposure and a way to sell their work.

Which brings me back to why I mentioned this - I could put your art up on the walls of the place. If it sells, I give you the money. If it doesn't, I rotate it out for something else. Or I commission something from you and put it up to sell and if it sells for more than I bought it for I give you the difference. Or something like that. I'm open to suggestions.

So that's where I'm coming from. I've got money. You need money. It would make me feel good to see that you get money. You make art. I like your art. It would make me feel good to see more of your art and to know that I had a hand in making it happen. I might even be able to sell some of it, at some point down the line. Which would also feel good and help me.

I don't really have a need for specific art at this time. There isn't really a specific thing I want you to draw. I don't want to tell you what to make. I'm more interested in the fact that you are creating. What I've seen from you is beautiful, and knowing that I had a part in it makes it more so.

I can tell you some things I like. I like the portraits that you did because you did a good job with them but also because there's too much sexism in our culture and particularly in comics and we need more things like portraits of strong female characters who aren't just giant boobs and impossible waistlines. I like goofy and random things. I like comics and D&D and geekery and dragons. I like the everyday wonder of the world. I like magic and heroes and things which elevate that wonder. I like happy things. I like science and space. I like science fiction. I like Discworld. I like dogs. And many, many other sundry things.

In short, I'm flexible. I do not, however, do well with blank slates. Not helpful, I know, but there it is.

I don't want to pressure you. I don't want to make things harder on you. I want to find a way to make life at least a little better for you. So, when you can, let me know how I can acceptably do that. Whatever is best for you is best for me.

How does that sound? Any thoughts?