hatman | (no subject)

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You know, I've often wondered about Abraham Lincoln.

I'm not sure what kind of team he was on or what they were playing, but only four score in seven years? That can't be good.

Maybe it has something to do with nepotism or incest or something. I mean, the whole team apparantly only had four fathers.

And then there's that whole thing with his seperate residence. I can understand not wanting to mix team stuff with presidential duties, but there are better ways to keep things straight than keeping an extra household at your "Gettysburg address." Especially when, as far as most people know, you've never lived in Virginia. Something screwy going on there.

And yet, despite all that, he still managed to be one of the greatest presidents in our history. Hmm. Maybe that's something all those "family values" voters out there could learn from.

See? It pays to know your history.

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Reader's Digest? And I could actually get (funny) money for stuff like this? Do tell. The bulk of my experience with Reader's Digest has to do with watching babies teethe on foam-paged books.

(And thanks for the FDK! :) )

You absolutely could get money for stuff like this! Pick up a Reader's Digest in the library (or on the news-stand, but then you'd have to pay for it ;)) and read through it. They have all these little blurbs at the end of the pages, funny little things like this, plus a few themed humor columns. For example, they'll have one page dedicated to military humor, another to job-related humor, family humor, etc. Other blurbs might be things people found in the newspapers (funny typos or ridiculous headlines, that sort of thing.)

It's been awhile since I've looked, but I think they used to pay like $50 if they used someone's submission. I have no idea how many submissions they get, but it's worth looking into, right? :)

Huh. Cool. I'll have to check that out.

... Okay, I checked it out.

According to this page:

Everyone's got a funny story. What's yours? Believe it or not, we actually pay our readers to make us chuckle. Just send us your hilarious story, and if we publish it in Reader's Digest, you'll be laughing all the way to the bank. Here's how it works:
We pay $100-$300 for material we print in Life in These United States, All in a Day's Work, Humor in Uniform; and $100 for material we print in Laughter, the Best Medicine; Quotable Quotes or elsewhere.

Looks like the pay went up. Nifty!

Well, for what it's worth:

Thank you, Paul!

Your submission makes 20,697,439 jokes, quotes and funny true stories received to date.

So far we've paid $25,306,000 to RD readers! If we decide to publish your submission, we'll send you a check!

At a minimum of $50 per accepted submission, that leaves (at most) a 2% acceptance rate. Wish me luck...

LOL! Well, good luck. I think a great deal of your stuff is print worthy, so let's hope they agree. :D

Aww, thanks. :)

(Nice icon, BTW!)

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