hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Nov. 29th, 2009 10:55 am)
A slow-witted heavyweight boxer is walking through the jungle when he realizes that he seems to be getting shorter.

"Huh? What's going on?"

It's a patch of thickened quicksand. The boxer's tightly-packed, heavy frame is causing him to sink.

A dyslexic mystic appears from amidst the thick foliage. He reaches out his hand. "Come with me if you want to live."

"Wha...?"

"Take my hand. It is your density."
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hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Mar. 2nd, 2009 05:48 pm)
1. Why did the yo-yo cross the road? )

2. New icon:



Thoughts? I'm not quite satisfied with it, but not sure how to finish/improve it.

I do hope it at least amuses. [livejournal.com profile] ladymirth, if no one else...

3. As [livejournal.com profile] orangebeaver pointed out, Michael Jackson has a life-sized sculpture of himself as Batman, and, along with a whole bunch of other stuff... it's currently up for auction. The statue (catalog 4, page 71, item 805) is scheduled for day 4 of the auction (April 24th), which focuses on Disney, superheroes, video games, and general entertainment-related items. According to the main auction page, proceeds will benefit MusiCares. Starting bid for the statue is $200-$300. I expect it'll go for considerably more. (Also... "The catalogues are comprised of a 5 book set in a hard box cover at $100 per set plus shipping and handling. A limited edition catalogue box set, signed and numbered by Michael Jackson, will be available for $500 plus shipping and handling.") You can, if you want, register and bid online.

4. Had a very odd dream last night. What's even stranger is that I remembered most of it when I woke up. Long enough to jot down a bunch of notes before falling back asleep.

The whole long crazy story... )
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Jul. 2nd, 2007 08:50 pm)
Tagged by [livejournal.com profile] beansideirae:

6. Choose five people from your Friends List. For each one, post a word or short phrase which you think they'll understand as uniquely theirs.

If you see one that you think is yours, post it to your journal with as much explanation and/or commentary as you're comfortable giving. Then post phrases for five of your friends so we can learn a little more about them.


Since I've done the rest of that meme, I'll just cover my phrase:

"oo, neat castle!"

Wait... what were we talking about again?

"oo, neat castle!"

Oh, right. So what was I supposed to do about it?

"If you see one that you think is yours, post it to your journal with as much explanation and/or commentary as you're comfortable giving."

Oh, okay. What was the phrase?

"oo, neat castle!"

Oh yeah. And...

Okay, I'll stop now.

It's a joke a friend of mine told me back in grade school. Not the funniest joke around, but the punchline is handy and becomes funny all by itself. It goes like this:

"Scientists have determined that a goldfish's memory lasts only 0.5 seconds.* So, when you think about it, the little guy in the bowl must be swimming around in circles all day thinking, 'Oo, neat castle! ... Oo, neat castle! ... Oo, neat castle! ..."

*As shown here and here, among many other places, this is actually false. But it makes the joke work, so... forget about it.

So now, whenever you have one of those little memory glitches, you can just say...

Wait, what were we talking about?

"Oo, neat castle!"

Oh, right. Well, surprisingly enough, [livejournal.com profile] beansideirae remembered that bit. ;)

... And, I'm too lazy to come up with another five. It was harder than I thought to come up with the first five, and I just did that yesterday. Sorry.
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hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Jun. 26th, 2007 01:17 am)
Don't think more than a couple of you will even get this, let alone appreciate it, but... Idea came. Had to do it. (Gave me something to do when we were out of town with no internet yesterday, anyway.)

"My emperor," Vader announced, "the inhabitents of the forest moon of Keebler Three are threatening to join the rebels. Shall I dispatch a fleet to destroy them?"

"No," Palpatine responded, "I know exactly what we need to crush those puny creatures..."

WARNING: Bad, geeky picture gag )
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( May. 27th, 2007 09:51 pm)
Hey, did you hear Fed-Ex and UPS are merging?

The process of combining their networks is going to cause huge delays for a while, and of course they'll still be charging 2-3 times USPS postal rates.

The new service will be called "Fed-UPS."

(Mom's comment: "Hey, I could run that!")
hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( May. 11th, 2007 11:07 pm)
Warning: Bad joke ahead.

This popped to mind a little while ago, and I couldn't think of a better way to get rid of it than to inflict it on you, my poor unsuspecting flist. I will be shocked if (being generous) more than two of you find it amusing.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite video game?

A: Gauntlet. Because it's an Arrcade ArrPG.

HAHAHAHA!

*runs away*
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