hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
( Jul. 9th, 2014 01:15 pm)
In the week since I ran out of Xyrem, I've been sleeping a lot and feeling particularly exhausted. Not as bad as February, but well below par.

It's the middle of the night for me now. Slept about 3 hours. Woke up from a dream where I finally lost it and got seriously pissed off with the relative who has been living with us for the last several years. Not sure why, since he's been away for the last week or so. But maybe it wasn't really about him and he was just a convenient symbol. Anyway, I woke up from that because of the apnea, and now I can't get back to sleep.

I go through periods where I feel relatively okay. Tired, but functional. And then I just feel really tired, but push on. And then there are times where it feels like my mind is starting to crack (again).

I wish I could figure it out. Is this because of the Xyrem? If so, is it because the Xyrem was helping, and now I'm crashing because I don't have it? Is it because I'm going through withdrawal? Or is it the opposite? Did the Xyrem screw me up for a month, and I'm so tired now because I'm recovering from the damage it did? Or is it something else entirely?

It should be getting better, but I don't know. And it's hard to think.
.

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hatman: HatMan, my alter ego and face on the 'net (Default)
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